I am what I am

Some could interpet Easy by the Commodores as strictly a breakup song. I see more than that. In the song, a few very powerful lines represent so much more. For me, it tells the story of a person who comes to terms with the pressures of living up to others expectations. It speaks of a declaration of independence, claiming their life as their own. As a result a carefree outlook is found in regards to the opinions of others “easy, like Sunday morning” (Commodores). The person in the song is comfortable in his or her own skin and not willing to compromise for the sake of another.

The pain of trying to live up to someone else’s expectations is exhausting. We are created by design to have free will. We are creatures of individual experiences. Each and everyone of us have our own opinions and values. If we are lucky enough, these opinions and values are those we create. Not simply something handed down from our parents or forced upon us by someone. We have the right to independent thought and expression. Unfortunately people somehow feel that their values and opinions are superior to others. The idea that each and everyone one of us are entitled to our own truths in this world is appalling to some. These particular people feel the need to force their opinions on people. They cannot grasp the concept that; I am allowed to have my say, you are allowed to have your say, and we are both right. Just because we don’t agree does not make either wrong.

The person reflected in this song has decided enough is enough. No longer can they live in an environment were the spirit cannot be free. Confused by the concept they ask “Why in the world would anybody put chains on me” (Commodores)? They ask, how can anyone who loves me not allow me to be myself? Unable to live life according to their accord it is clear “I’m not happy when I try to fake it” (Commodores). They are declaring that they have the freedom to choose how there life should go. They are free to be themselves. They are allowed the power to not fulfill some model they did not create.

This song represents my inner battle with people in several different phases in my life. I could call it my theme song for these growth spurts. I have the opinion that people try to create molds for you to fill. I am not about conforming to some idea that someone has of how I should. What I should say, do, think, or act. Quirky would be an appropriate term for me. I have no taboo discussion topics. I feel deeply and am not afraid to show it. Humor is my medication to deal with all of life’s sour moments. I am by no means perfect in any way and that is completely o.k. with me.

The battle began as a child. My mother, whom I love dearly, had a concept of how I should portray myself. She has her own ideas about how any woman should carry herself. What she should say, and what opinions she should have. All of her ideas went completely against my grain. From the jump I had my own opinions on how I was going to carry out my life. After many battles and pleading with her please to just let me be who I am, she finally relented. To this day we have what we call discussions but everyone around us thinks we are arguing. It’s a family joke that she and I laugh about. My father also had his ideas about the direction my life should play out. Needless to say it did not go the way he wanted it to, but I am happy anyway. Broke but happy.

This song was also with me when I decided that I could no longer be in a relationship. He had his expectations of my life. I was very in love but realized I could not be with a man that did not understand how I ticked. I did not feel the need to constantly explain myself to him. More importantly I questioned myself. Should conform to this idea of a proper little woman that he wanted me to be? I decided not. How boring! I am what I am.

In all this song reminds me every time I hear it of what I don’t want my life to be. I want to free from any expectations but those that I create. Faking it through life and not enjoying every minute that life has to offer is not the way I perceive living. My mission statement is; “Let me be me regardless!”


Commodores. Easy. Motown, 1977.
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