Teresa's

I am what I am

2007-04-26T21:38:00.000-07:00

Some could interpet Easy by the Commodores as strictly a breakup song. I see more than that. In the song, a few very powerful lines represent so much more. For me, it tells the story of a person who comes to terms with the pressures of living up to others expectations. It speaks of a declaration of independence, claiming their life as their own. As a result a carefree outlook is found in regards to the opinions of others “easy, like Sunday morning” (Commodores). The person in the song is comfortable in his or her own skin and not willing to compromise for the sake of another.

The pain of trying to live up to someone else’s expectations is exhausting. We are created by design to have free will. We are creatures of individual experiences. Each and everyone of us have our own opinions and values. If we are lucky enough, these opinions and values are those we create. Not simply something handed down from our parents or forced upon us by someone. We have the right to independent thought and expression. Unfortunately people somehow feel that their values and opinions are superior to others. The idea that each and everyone one of us are entitled to our own truths in this world is appalling to some. These particular people feel the need to force their opinions on people. They cannot grasp the concept that; I am allowed to have my say, you are allowed to have your say, and we are both right. Just because we don’t agree does not make either wrong.

The person reflected in this song has decided enough is enough. No longer can they live in an environment were the spirit cannot be free. Confused by the concept they ask “Why in the world would anybody put chains on me” (Commodores)? They ask, how can anyone who loves me not allow me to be myself? Unable to live life according to their accord it is clear “I’m not happy when I try to fake it” (Commodores). They are declaring that they have the freedom to choose how there life should go. They are free to be themselves. They are allowed the power to not fulfill some model they did not create.

This song represents my inner battle with people in several different phases in my life. I could call it my theme song for these growth spurts. I have the opinion that people try to create molds for you to fill. I am not about conforming to some idea that someone has of how I should. What I should say, do, think, or act. Quirky would be an appropriate term for me. I have no taboo discussion topics. I feel deeply and am not afraid to show it. Humor is my medication to deal with all of life’s sour moments. I am by no means perfect in any way and that is completely o.k. with me.

The battle began as a child. My mother, whom I love dearly, had a concept of how I should portray myself. She has her own ideas about how any woman should carry herself. What she should say, and what opinions she should have. All of her ideas went completely against my grain. From the jump I had my own opinions on how I was going to carry out my life. After many battles and pleading with her please to just let me be who I am, she finally relented. To this day we have what we call discussions but everyone around us thinks we are arguing. It’s a family joke that she and I laugh about. My father also had his ideas about the direction my life should play out. Needless to say it did not go the way he wanted it to, but I am happy anyway. Broke but happy.

This song was also with me when I decided that I could no longer be in a relationship. He had his expectations of my life. I was very in love but realized I could not be with a man that did not understand how I ticked. I did not feel the need to constantly explain myself to him. More importantly I questioned myself. Should conform to this idea of a proper little woman that he wanted me to be? I decided not. How boring! I am what I am.

In all this song reminds me every time I hear it of what I don’t want my life to be. I want to free from any expectations but those that I create. Faking it through life and not enjoying every minute that life has to offer is not the way I perceive living. My mission statement is; “Let me be me regardless!”

Commodores. Easy. Motown, 1977.
http://www.seeklyrics.com

More Than An Image

2007-04-25T19:23:00.000-07:00

THE OTHER SIDE OF A MIRROR
By Mary Elizabeth Coleridge

I sat before my glass one day,
And conjured up a vision bare,
Unlike the aspects glad and gay,
That erst were found reflected there –
The vision of a woman, wild
With more than womanly despair.

Her hair stood back on either side
A face bereft of loveliness.
It had no envy now to hide
What once no man on earth could guess.
It formed the thorny aureole
Of hard unsanctified distress.

Her lips were open – not a sound
Came through the parted lines of red.
Whate'er it was, the hideous wound
In silence and in secret bled.
No sigh relieved her speechless woe,
She had no voice to speak her dread.

And in her lurid eyes there shone
The dying flame of life's desire,
Made mad because its hope was gone,
And kindled at the leaping fire
Of jealousy, and fierce revenge,
And strength that could not change nor tire.

Shade of a shadow in the glass,
O set the crystal surface free!
Pass – as the fairer visions pass –
Nor ever more return, to be
The ghost of a distracted hour,
That heard me whisper, "I am she!"

This poem was written in the Victorian era where women were to be seen not heard. Mary E. Coleridge was a woman of her era yet in her writings allowed herself the ability to delve into her own identity as a woman (Pullen). It seems as though even 100 years ago women felt the same feelings women still feel today. Women want to be heard. They do not want to be just a beautiful face looking through a mirror. Women want their opinions to matter, not as just an after thought. Women are equal to men in mind and spirit. The quest is the same for women no matter the era; hear me, don’t just see me!

Coleridge was shy and unsure of her abilities as a poet. She did not want to tarnish her great-great uncle Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s name by publishing her works under her name so she chose to write under the pseudonym ‘Andos’ (Pullen). The term ‘Anodos means “on no road”, Coleridge chose this pseudonym in honor of her favorite novel Phantastes (Goss). Despite her shyness she was a skilled writer and released two collections of poems, as well as six books in her lifetime (Goss). It was not until after her death in 1907 that full credit was given to her for her works (Pullen). Perhaps other saw her as the genius she was and despite her request, thought the woman behind the work deserved the recognition she could never give herself.

The poem speaks of a woman who realizes while looking in her mirror not all is as it should be. She begins a journey into unspeakable thoughts in her era, that women are more than they are allowed to be. While looking at her reflection she questions who the woman before her is. Before when she looked into this same glass she saw expressions of a woman happy with the world she lived in. Now she saw a woman undisguised, a woman uncultivated in a culture where men were viewed as superior. Unhappy with her place in this world she grows resentful:

A face bereft of loveliness.
It had no envy now to hide
What once no man on earth could guess.
It formed the thorny aureole
Of hard unsanctified distress. (Coleridge)

In this she no longer feels the need to hide from herself the desires of something more. No one of the era would understand that she had something more than just a pretty face to give to the world of literature. She plays the martyr for the sake of social dignity. She will wear her crown of thorns just as Jesus did. As it is undignified to speak the injustice of a woman’s role, she must suffer in her anxieties, as it would be a sin to defy the role of a well-to-do Victorian daughter (Pullen).

She keeps her silence as, “she had no voice to speak her dread” (Coleridge). She slowly begins to understand her place in this world. Shocked to find out the truth behind the lie her soul begins to die in “The dying flame of life’s desire” (Coleridge). More than just a face she has a place and is being denied. Denied a place where her truths are upheld, and she is equal among men. Where her voice is strong and heard. She begs to the forces “O set the crystal surface free” as she is without the voice she longs to express (Coleridge). She is too in tune with social graces to ever betray her role. She keeps her secret with the mirror. She will not break the silence, as it would disgrace so many. Meanwhile she must live with the gruesome knowledge that “I am she!” (Coleridge).

It is a shame that she felt the pressure to remain in the role expected of her. She had a powerful pen to capture the feelings of a woman’s plight in the Victorian era of forced silence and despair. More of a shame is that she felt the need to hide her work. Surely if she had claimed her work more women would have not felt so alone and possibly stepped out of the role to demand the rights they so richly deserved. It would also seem that her pen name ‘Anodos’ could explain her feelings toward her place in her world. That she had no road to travel, as her path was marked for her. She did not dare mark her own path. She had the voice of many, yet no map to reach her inner destination. It is sad that she had no one by her to say that I too am she.

Coloridge, Mary Elizabeth. “The Other Side of the Mirror.” A Book of Women Poets
from Antiquity to Now Eds. Aliki Barnstone & Willis Barnstone. New York: Schocken Books, 1980. 470-471.

Poems of the Fantastic and Macabre. Ed. Theodora Goss. 15 Apr. 2007
http://www.poemsofthefantastic.com/poets/COLERIDGEnf.html

Pullen, Christine. Literature Online. 2000. Chadwyck-Healey 15 Apr. 2007
http://wf2la6.webfeat.org/Jm6dH171/

Gaining Revenge

2007-04-05T22:38:00.000-07:00

The story of “The Cask of Amontillado” is one that gives a comparative of two men. One is lead strictly by his id and the other being motivated by his id, has moments of rationalization. In this battle of forces Montresor’s ego is not strong enough to stop his appetite for revenge.

Montresor it seems has been pushed to the limit as to what he can take from Fortunato. In frustration he plots revenge on his dear friend as insults he could not tolerate. The risk he would take in committing this revenge mattered little to him. He needs to make Fortunato pay for his actions. It appears that Forunato publicly insulted Montresor as later he says to him “You are rich, respected, admired, beloved; you are happy, as once I was”(Poe 241). Which suggest that whatever the insult was, it greatly affected everything Montresor held dear. All that was gone and now revenge must be had.

Fortunato seems to be a very arrogant man. Full of himself he counters anyone’s knowledge of Amontillado being superior to his. His comment to Montresor in reference to Luchesi’s knowledge is that “he is a ignoramus” (Poe 243). He also basks in his superiority over Montresor. For example, when confusion arises in Montresor over Fortunato’s gesture with the wine bottle, Fortunato takes this opportunity to humiliate him in his knowledge of the Masons. Fortunato also had the audacity to question Montresors arms. It is no wonder Montresor had so much animosity towards his dear friend. His friend felt the need to constantly rely on his id, as it seems he lacked a superego. Much to his misfortune he comes in contact with that area of his consciousness a little to late.

Montresor seems to vary in different degrees of his consciousness. He is in much of his id throughout the story but reveals areas of his ego and superego. Montresor plays the part of a concerned friend for Fortunato’s benefit. In those moments he will do anything to fulfill his need of revenge. When in reality his id is much in charge in these moments. He knew just the strings to pull to get Fortunato to react in accordance to his plan. If he played upon Fortunatos pride he could achieve his goal in gaining revenge.

The intent in his plan was to make Fortunato suffer humility. The humility Montresor must have felt in the insults brought forth by Fortunato. Killing Fortunato went a bit far in his revenge. Wouldn’t it had been enough when he heard the “sad voice, which I had difficulty in recognizing” to let him out (Poe 244). Hearing the break in Fortunato’s pride he had made his point.

Poe, Edgar Allan. “The Cask of Amontillado.” Reading and Writing about Literature. Ed. Phillip Sipiora. New Jersey: Prentice Hall, 2002. 240-244.

Psychotic Dreams

2007-04-05T22:24:00.000-07:00

Reading this story it becomes clear that Rojack is psychotic and misunderstands his hallucinations as a force of evil outside himself. The people he surrounds himself with are all psychopaths “living rationally in the world, but motivated by an antisocial attitude” (Leeds 192). Rojack is surrounded by each characters psychopathic behavior, yet he perceives their behaviors as evilness. Throughout the thirty-two hour span of the story, what is clear is that insanity would have been a great defense, had he been formally charged with the murder of his wife.

Stephen Rojack is a deeply troubled man who has accomplished much in ways of dreams despite his oddities. He excels in matters of accomplishments yet he seems to lack the ability to hold any form of a relationship together. Rojack steps to the edge many times yet never does he have the courage to jump. He fights with the darkness because he knows to give in would swallow him whole never to return. The average person can tell right from wrong. Rojack understands and feels the fear associated with “the terms of death and darkness” and lives with them as “immediate personal dangers” (Weinburg 261).

The relationship with the moon is a clear indication that something is amiss in Rojack. The moon perhaps a metaphor for what he views as crossing to the dark side. He notices the moon on several monumental occasions in his life yet does not connect the simple fact that it just might be night. To him, he and the moon have a connection. The moon in moments of despair calls him to be free of the world. Maybe the moon will not let him down as Deborah has. He feels with suicide “the part of me, which spoke and thought and had its glimpses of the landscape of my Being, would soar, would rise, would leap the miles of darkness to that moon” (Mailer 19).

The thoughts of suicide lead him to Deborah. Misery after all needs more misery to truly be happy. It is then the thought occurs to him that maybe Deborah is the cause of his misery. Rojack must kill his wife in an attempt to save himself. To kill her would offer relief of his suicidal thoughts. As he remembers from his time spent in Vietnam that, “murder offers the promise of vast relief” (Mailer 15). Remorse is not found within him after the murder of his wife because; he can now begin to live again.

Another indication of his troubled mind are the constant voices inside his head leading and suggesting actions for him to take. At moments after her death he somehow feels Deborah is the source of the voices. That she somehow has placed a curse on him. At one point he asks the voices “Let me be free of you” as if he were talking to someone that could set him free (Mailer 196). His own mind is the only one that can set him free, not some curse he wanted to believe in. Curses can be removed, insanity cannot. He was not free of the voice, as he stood on the parapet at Kelly’s the voice was again telling him, “Look at the moon, look up at the moon” (Mailer 242). For his mind knew if he looked the moon would have its way with him and now he did not want to die.

Through banter of unimaginable thoughts, he avoids jumping from start to finish to be one with the moon. However he still stands on the edge of reality. Possibly once he comes to terms with the fact that no matter how many times he calls Cherry he won’t reach her, as he could never reach Deborah. His curse is that soon he will again be obsessed with suicidal thoughts and fascination with the moon.

With such life changing events in the story “one expects the modern activist hero to learn, change grow” yet he does not (Weinberg 261). This furthers my point that Rojack is psychotic. Anyone faced with the events in this story would surely be changed forever, unless they lack the ability through some mental disorder.

Mailer, Norman. An American Dream. New York: Dell, 1966

Leeds, Barry H. “The Structured Vision of Norman.” Contemporary Literary Criticism. Ed. Carolyn Riley. 92vols. Detroit: Gale, 1973. 191-192.

Weinberg, Helen. “The New Novel in America: The Kafkan Mode in Contemporary.” Contemporary Literary Criticism.
Ed. Carolyn Riley. 92vols.Detroit: Gale, 1974. 261.

Annoted Bibliography on “An American Dream”

2007-04-05T22:19:00.000-07:00

Aldridge, John W. "Norman Mailer: The Energy of New Success." Contemporary Literary Criticism. Ed. Carolyn Riley. 92vols. Detroit:Gale, 1974.258-259.

Aldridge’s take on Mailer is one of admiration with subtle hints of detest. He clearly sees Mailer as using his writings to outrage readers and critics. Mailer’s ego is to set to destroy him instead of placing in the league of those he admires. He views Mailer, as taking a new direction is his work a more grown up approach to language uses. He points out that the book appalled critics at the time it was released. Some suggest that this book was not a breakthrough in the writer but a breakdown of the writer. Aldridge sees the book as Mailer’s attempt to use fantasy and witchcraft to poke fun at the psychotic American dream. He also compares the character Rojack to Mailer, as that he has gotten away with murder in writing this book. He has wrote against every known method. Aldridge gives Mailer great credit for slapping us into our own realities with such honesty of human nature.

Leeds, Barry H. “The Structured Vision of Norman.” Contemporary
Literary Criticism. Ed. Carolyn Riley. 92vols. Detroit: Gale, 1973. 191-192.

Mailer grows as a writer from one with despair of the human nature to one of hope. He makes an attempt to go beyond his own limitations. Mailer tackles the differences in the mystic and atheistic views and finds himself more as a mystic in the view of death. Mailer tackles the fear in death as throughout the story Rojack continually taunts death. Mailer draws the line between psychotic and the psychopath. Leeds implies that Mailer views himself as a renegade and demonstrates in the story that a psychotic moves back and forth from the insane and displays hallucinations where as a psychopath remains level with no ins and outs of insane thinking that he has choice to act in an insane manner. Leeds contends that Rojack is lead by his own selfish needs. Rojack in nature goes against every social grain and is aware of this fact throughout the story he is attempting to understand the evil within himself and those that surround him.

Weinberg, Helen. “The New Novel in America: The Kafkan Mode in Contemporary.” Contemporary Literary Criticism. Ed. Carolyn Riley. 92vols. Detroit: Gale,1974. 261.

Weinberg points out that Mailer, as an author, tends to write about accepting the dangers of the unconscious mind and the darkness that lurks with in it. Another common theme is death and coming to terms with the knowledge that ultimately this happens to us all. She points out the difficulty in creating a work that defines the American existential experience, but suggest that Mailer has a gift in creating a character that portray this theory. Weinberg suggest that to embrace the ugliness of the darkness within, one would either grow or become one with the dark side. She implies that the character Mailer created in Rojack reveals this inner battle yet he remains the same. He is unchanged in nature by what transpires in the book. Throughout the story Rojack experience all levels of human emotion and experiences but remains his own man, not conforming to the ideas of his peers.

“Escape the Darkness”

2007-03-02T06:53:00.000-08:00

Our narrator finds an ethical duty to guide his younger brother. As Sonny was orphaned as a teenager, he feels the needs to protect Sonny from the impoverished, violent life in Harlem. They were both in search of something more, a way out from the darkness. Our narrator feels as though he has escaped what happens to so many but has somehow failed to save Sonny. He throughout the story searches himself in where he went wrong in guiding Sonny, in the end finds that Sonny needed to find his own way out.

Our narrator was very young when forced into the position to keep his promise made to his mother, that he would protect Sonny from being “sucked under” (Sipiora 86). He attempted from the start to impose what he thought were positive goals in him. He did not want Sonny’s life to be wasted. He wanted Sonny to make something of his life. It is very clear Sonny had his own ideas of what he wanted out of life. In his dream of traveling to India he had hopes to find a greater understanding of the human spirit. Its unclear if this is a result of what he was up made of or if the drugs help shape this desire. He was more of the creative nature from the beginning. Private and difficult to get inside most likely made him more of the creative nature.

Very aware of the darkness that engulfs everyone in Harlem; aware that soon they would bump their heads “against the low ceiling of their actual possibilities” (Sipiora 79). The narrator remembers being sheltered from the sad truth of what was in store for them at a young age. His intention is to somehow shelter Sonny the same way. However, just by being alive their story has already been told. Sonny already had a taste of Harlem and he knew he needed to get out. The narrator was unaware until years later that it was to late. Sonny had already been touched by the darkness. The struggle of the two forces began. It was already to late to save Sonny from himself. He needed to find his own way out. Eventually in tears our narrator surrenders Sonny to his own free will.

Sonny found the one thing in life that made sense to him, jazz. He found that he could express himself in the form of music. All the frustration and rage that he felt inside could be released into this form. Sonny felt pity for the souls that were trapped by doing something that did not make them happy. By any means he was going to avoid the trap. Sonny’s other escape mechanism in life heroin, very quickly engulfed him. His intentions were not to hurt anyone or himself simply to escape the suffering of life. He felt the powerlessness of the world around him. In this he would retreat to “out of the world” (Sipiora 96) to find a place in it.

It is understandable that Sonny’s lifestyle would disgust the narrator. Understanding why Sonny would choose this life style did not make practical sense to him. He felt it was beneath Sonny to behave this way. He saw Sonny potential and felt it was wasted both in music and the heroin. On the other hand, Sonny felt that not doing what truly made him happy was beneath him. In the end Sonny come to terms with his demons and finds his escape through the music he creates. Our narrator finds a greater understanding of who his brother is. With this discovery he finds peace with his need to try to change him.

Sipiora, Phillip. Reading and Writing About Literature. New Jersey: Prentice Hall, 2002

"Humbled into Death"

2007-02-28T21:40:00.000-08:00

The unfortunate nature of man sometimes, is to believe we have all the information necessary to make rational decisions. In life we learn we do not always have all the answers. We are given the opportunity to learn from our mistakes and move forward. The narrator gives an outside view of this man’s unfortunate arrogance. He did not get the chance to learn from his mistakes. We view him being humbled into death. Had he used the valuable information given by other characters in this story he may have survived his ordeal on the Yukon Trail.

Jack London had experience on the brutal trail told in this story. He had spent a winter there in 1897(Stasz). In hopes of striking it rich in the gold rush on the Klondike. He set about on his yearlong journey. Unlike the character portrayed in this story he was prepared for his journey and was in the company of friends (McSherry). Our character was doomed from the very beginning. Unlike London and others who had made this journey before our character was unprepared. He heads out to reach his destination at Henderson Creek, yet all he carried with him was his lunch, some matches, and with him another character the dog. Where was he coming from and why go alone?

His first mistake and ultimately the cause of his death was being out in the extreme cold to begin with. Our characters arrogance is explained very early on in, “The trouble with him was that he was without imagination. He was quick and alert in the things of life…and not in the significances” (Sipiora 149). He could understand that it was well below –50 degrees but could not comprehend what that implicated for him. His ignorance is displayed in the fact that no matter how much of a man he was he could not survive the current conditions. In this kind of weather no man needs to be out in the open without fire. The conditions are what they are. No matter how big of a man it is impossible to combat the weather. It is an inevitable force man cannot win against. Throughout the story he is placed in several circumstances where it is proven to him that he does not have what it takes to survive this trek.

The old-timer in the story attempted to warn the man. He apparently had experience in the conditions. He warned him not only of the extreme cold, but how a man should never be alone in the conditions. He also gives the man advice on what to do if his feet get wet. At the time the man was talking to the old-timer he laughed off his suggestions stating, “Those old-timers were rather womanish, some of them, he thought. All a man had to do was keep his head, and he was all right. Any man who was a man could travel alone” (Sipiora 154). Our character soon realizes the old-timer was right, yet it was not enough to save this man. He relied on his own judgment, which was not much since this was his first winter. He was unable to keep his head when the going got tough he panicked. His failed attempt to build a fire brought him to the point of this panic and ultimately his death.

Both the old man and the dog sensed this man was unable to survive the land. The man viewed the dog as insignificant, but he had the instincts and aptitude to survive the harsh conditions. The dog’s instincts lead him to rely on his man for fire because he could not provide this for himself. Yet the dog knew it was no time to be out in the open. The dog’s instinct told it not only the needed fire and shelter but also that he was in grave danger. The man only realized the danger he was in and death was imminent when he could not build the second fire. Keeping his head would not get him through this predicament.

In the end the man accepts his humility and realizes he has no business being out on the Yukon alone so ill prepared. “You were right, old hoss; you were right”(Sipiora 158). He did not have all the information and knowledge to complete his task. Like London our character would not strike it rich (McSherry). He would not have a story of survival to tell. Is this a true story that Jack heard during his time on the Yukon? “Most people believe that his writings are all fiction”(McSherry). Or is this his attempt to ask ourselves do we sometimes go off half-cocked, determined to accomplish a goal without all of the information need to achieve it?

McSherry III, Jack L. Jack London’s Klondike Adventure. 18 Feb. 2007
http://www.arcticwebsite.com/LondonJackKlond.html

Sipiora, Phillip. Reading and Writing About Literature. New Jersey: Prentice Hall, 2002.

Stasz, Dr. Clarice. Jack [John Griffith] London. 2001. 18 Feb. 2007
http://www.lindon.sonoma.edu/jackbio.html

"Death of Freedom"

2007-02-28T21:26:00.000-08:00

Throughout history women have been placed in roles they do not necessarily want to be in. Kate Chopin is speaking out about a “…women’s need for independence…” (Walker). This short story reveals unexpected twist and turns to portray a woman who finds what she wants out of life through the unfortunate death of her husband. In an off the wall route to freedom, our heroine finds what she needs in life to feel fulfilled. In the end she achieves her much needed freedom through death.

The other characters in this story’s view of Louise are unimportant compared to how Louise views herself. Louise feels trapped in a life, and marriage where her needs and wants are viewed by society as inconsequential. She is obviously unhappy, in not only her marriage, but with life itself. Not that her marriage to Brantley is necessarily bad. Her unhappiness has nothing to do with Brantley as a husband. Our narrator tells us that, “It was only yesterday she had thought with a shudder that life might be long” (Sipiora 200). Meaning that her heart would last far longer than she wanted it to. She would be forced to live out each grueling day unfulfilled. She felt the burden of what life and society expected of her. She saw a crime in the way, “…men and women believe they have the right to impose a private will upon a fellow creature” (Sipiora 200). She clearly saw herself a simple subservient creature in the society she lived. She did not see herself as living at all, but as merely surviving.

She was much surprised by the joy that she felt over her husband’s death, even though it is much expected. She is seen in taking great joy in what her life would become, just not in her role in it. Reference is made to her retreating to her “…comfortable, roomy armchair,” which is “…facing the open window…” (Sipiora 199). This chair in her room has most likely been her haven for many years. A place where she could view the world without intrusion, which is the purpose it serves at this time as well. A bystander watching the world go by and never feeling apart of. She views the comings and goings of the world outside. She takes notice of the “trees that were all aquiver with new spring life” (Sipiora 199) just as she is tremulous of the new life thrust upon her.

She embraces the newfound freedom in the death of her husband. Keeping the pretense of the dutiful wife will no longer exhaust her. She can begin live of her own free will and not only in what is expected of her. While looking out her bystander window she finds her freedom. As if her soul had been hidden in the clouds she watched the freedom roll, “she felt it, creeping out of the sky…” (Sipiora 199). What she perceived she should be in life was shattered in that one moment. It no longer matter her husband wanted of her, he was now long gone. She felt freedom embrace her, “and she opened her arms out...” to the years she was to enjoy and not dread. To be revived as one of God’s divine creatures in the “days that would be her own” (Sipiora 200).

Some could perceive the end as tragic. Chopin’s end of the story fits perfectly. Louise achieved her “individuality and autonomy” (Deter). I find the irony in her death poetic. She tasted freedom if for only a short time. She found freedom in her husband’s death and in the end freedom is what she got. It would be unfair make our heroine live once she found he was in fact alive.

Deter, Floramaria. Kate Chopin: In Search of Freedom. 11 Feb. 2007
http://classiclit.about.com/cs/articles/a/aa_insearch.htm

Sipiora, Phillip. Reading and Writing About Literature. New Jersey: Prentice Hall, 2002.

Walker PhD, Nancy. Kate Chopin. 2006. 11 Feb. 2007
http://encarta.msn.com/text_761579519___0/Kate_Chopin.html

"Compelled" revised once again

2007-02-19T11:20:00.000-08:00

The Dead, seems to be based entirely on Joyce’s cynical perceptions of what life in Dublin brings about for a man. Joyce portrays Gabriel as man who clearly felt trapped. It seems he like Gabriel possess a freethinking mind and spirit. Joyce’s distaste for the country and simple-minded countrymen is vivid throughout this piece of work. Joyce is quoted in 1906 after complaints on the work of Dubliners, “My intention was to write a moral history of my country and I chose Dublin for the scene because that city seemed to me the center of paralysis…[…] I have written it for the most part in a style of scrupulous meanness”(Joyce). I cannot help but to think that pieces of Gabriel represent Joyce. How he would have felt if he had lead the typical life in Dublin as expected of him. He spins a story of a man trapped in a world of obligations.

Gabriel is a man compelled to behave as he is expected. A man trapped unable to break free from the stereotypes pushed on him. He is pushed to respond to the demands of family. Not to say that he does not love and greatly admire whom they are. He just feels as though he has more to offer than being just a husband and father. He seems to resent the demands placed on him by his aunts, yet he dutifully plays the role. He is a writer after all, with great mind and wit about him. Yet lacking in self-confidence he questions himself. Gabriel wants people to accept him even though he is not content with what he has to offer up. Not only does he question other people’s standards he questions himself. He is restless and haggard from putting up the pretense, as he is much to hard on himself.

Miss Ivors must represent someone in Joyce past. Pushing guilt on Gabriel about his dislike of Ireland and his tendencies to feel more of a European. She questions why he would choose to write for a Britain paper. She pushes him about embracing his own land and culture. Then in outrage he admits his disgust with his own country. Again this must reflects Joyce’s own views in this piece of work. Joyce’s views become one with Gabriel’s in that it has been said, “He felt happiest in Europe, and thought of himself as a part of its, rather than Irish or British, culture” (Joyce).

The story seems to drag on and on about a party that last just a few hours. Joyce’s views are clearly captured in this work. That he would intentionally make the story so dull and lifeless. He clearly achieves his goal in representing, “The working lives, family life, oppressive social mores and even leisure pursuits of the characters trap them in monotonous, constrictive routines from which they seem unable to escape” (Joyce).

“Joyce, James, 1882-1941.” Literature Online Reference Edition. 2000
http://lionreference.chadwyck.com.ezproxy.maconstate.edu

"Compelled" Revised

2007-02-01T19:28:00.000-08:00

This story is seems is based entirely on Joyce’s perceptions of what life in Dublin brings about for a man. Joyce clearly felt trapped. He possessed a freethinking mind and spirit. Joyce decided to leave Dublin and never regretted it(Joyce). His distaste for the country and simple-minded countrymen is vivid throughout this piece of work. The story places himself as Gabriel. How he would have felt if he had lead the typical life in Dublin as expected of him. He spins a story of a man trapped in a world of obligations.

Gabriel is a man compelled to behave as he is expected. A man trapped unable to break free from the stereotypes pushed on him. He is pushed to respond to the demands of family. Not to say that he does not love and greatly admire whom they are. He just feels as though he has more to offer than being just a husband and father. He seems to resent the demands placed on him by his aunts, yet he dutifully plays the role. He is a writer after all, with great mind and wit about him. Yet lacking in self-confidence he questions himself. Gabriel wants people to accept him even though he is not content with what he has to offer up. Not only does he question other people’s standards he questions himself. He is restless and haggard from putting up the pretense, as he is much to hard on himself.

Miss Ivors must represent someone in Joyce past. Pushing guilt on him about his dislike of Ireland and his tendencies to feel more of a European(Joyce). She questions why he would choose to write for a Britain paper. She pushes him about embracing his own land and culture. Then in outrage he admits his disgust with his own country.

The story seems to drag on and on about a party that last just a few hours. This clearly must also be an attempt to capture Joyce’s views on his homeland(Joyce). That he would make the story so dull and lifeless. He did proficiently tell the story of Gabriel’s unhappiness, with the only exemplary area being the love he had for his wife. This must also represent the opinion of Joyce as well that, although he did not take pride in his homeland, he took great pride in his wife(Joyce).

“Joyce, James, 1882-1941.” Literature Online Reference Edition. 2000
http://lionreference.chadwyck.com.ezproxy.maconstate.edu

"Shame for a Gift"

2007-02-01T19:25:00.000-08:00

Araby
by James Joyce

The story goes in depth about the actual feelings that love or infatuation bring about for a young boy, when he falls for his friend’s older sister. It does not matter that the girl has no clue of what the boy feels for her. It is also undecided whether the girl actually spoke to him. Imagined or not the feelings he felt were completely real. No matter the reality, it set into motion the idea that he could win this girls admiration through a gift.

In the beginning of the story the author describes the lifestyle of a young boy and the setting of the average neighborhood anywhere. A boy’s life at this age is very simple. It revolves around his neighborhood and the daily life and grind of being twelve. Many days and late evenings are spent out on the lawn with friends. All life expects of a boy his age is to do well in school, help with chores and be semi happy.

Everything is going well in his life, then wham it hits him. He cannot explain what it is he’s feeling. When he sees her the world stops. The only thing left is the racing of his heart and the sweat pouring from his skin. He does everything he can to get her attention, but does not have a clue as to why. Every thought revolves around this girl. What are these feelings? He cannot talk about it or even worse he thinks it is forbidden to talk about. What if he said something and he was told he was not suppose to feel this way at his age. All he knows is that whatever these feelings are it feels good. It makes him feel alive unlike the kind dead priest.

The only thing he knows that will get her attention and maybe her affection is a gift. Not knowing how, but some how he will get to the Araby and buy her a gift. The days trickle by. The day of the bazaar he starts counting down the minutes and pacing the floor. All the drudgery of the day’s events is pure cruelty. His plan and hopes it seems are ruined, until finally his uncle comes home later than expected. He arrives just as they are closing down. He views the remaining selections of goods. Grudgingly, a woman out of duty comes to assist him. Reality sets in; maybe Mangan’s sister is only nice to him because she feels the duty to be kind. Everyone in the neighborhood is friendly. What good is this gift to win her affections? What does it say about him that he would try to buy her affections?

He realizes very early in life, this is not the way it should be. He realizes it is hopeless to have this infatuation with a girl he does not even know. He has had one conversation with her. Was that conversation real or was it imagined? Even more importantly beauty is only skin deep. It seems that the story wants to depict this boy and his story, as something to be ashamed of or worse wants to invoke feeling of sadness for him. This would explain the reference to the priest and the fact that he tells no one. The only sad point in the story is how it mirrors our own society today. In today’s society a person can be bought with a gift. Money says love like nothing else. There is nothing shameful or wrong with what the boy is feeling. He is just a boy first noticing the affects members of the opposite sex have on people.

"Dissipate the Past"

2007-02-01T16:01:00.000-08:00

The story represents a man who is coming to terms with the self-created tragedy of his life. Charles Wales is a man who has loved, had great material gain, lost it all and is now attempting to rebuild what is left in his life. The main purpose of his trip back to Paris is to regain custody of his daughter Honoria. In the process he is forced to confront the demons of his past mistakes, and formally say good-bye to a life he once had. In the end he finds that he, despite what everyone around him thinks, is not the man represented by past mistakes. He is a man of character who wants to do the right thing for his child and dead wife Helen.

In the early part of the story Charlie begins his moments of many truths. He returns to old stomping grounds and is looking for familiar faces. What he finds is, not only is he not the same man, but Paris is no longer the same place for him. Charlie enjoyed the clout of being perceived as a wealthy man in Paris and reminisces fondly of some the good old times. Which may mean that he may not regret the past completely or that he liked the free spirited person he once was. Each place Charlie visits, he finds the people and the life they are living disgust him. Charlie finds he no longer feels comfortable in bars and the surroundings he once called home. He finds himself an outsider looking in. Charlie comments to himself that he ruined the beauty of Paris for himself. He spent two years in Paris and never appreciated one minute. He attempts to take in Paris with sober eyes and somber spirit. This is a self-realization of himself. He wasted every minute in such a culturally rich and beautifully historic city. He understands the impact of his lifestyle lead to his current life. What he held so dear in the past, in the end meant nothing and he had nothing to show for it. In the process he lost his wife, his daughter and himself in this city.

Charlie is fully aware of Marion’s dislike for him. Charlie recognizes the need to take Marion’s verbal lashings about his past to achieve the ultimate goal of getting custody of his child back. During every confrontation Charlie cannot dispute the truth of Marion’s comments except for being responsible for the death of Helen. Marion cannot accept the death of her sister and needs to blame Charlie. It is easier for her to make Charlie the villain, than to accept that her sister had a part in the breakdown of the marriage, or that she simply died from a bad heart.

Honoria is the only character that holds no resentment for Charlie. She is just a small child so in love with her father. He sees in her the man he is and wants to become. She is the only good that is left of the rise and fall. He sees she needs him as much as he needs her. He is ready to give her the love of both parents without regard of giving too much.

In the end Charlie’s plans to take his daughter to Prague are in vain. His past has tracked him down and is trying to strap him in again. He remains strong and walks away disappointed but not defeated. He has every intention on coming back for his daughter. He walks away with a better understanding of his past and his future. He walks away with his character tact. Charlie Wales is not the irresponsible man people believe he is. He is a man who got carried away in a life that money could give you.

Myself as Teresa Brown

2007-01-12T08:57:00.000-08:00

I am Teresa Brown. I was born in Biloxi, MS, where I lived until February of 2001. At that time I moved to Georgia to marry my husband Jimmy. I have three children whose age ranges from 5 years old to 15 years old. My days are spent working at Georgia Dermatology where I am the Medicare billing God, then clocking in on my second shift for the day, at the house. I just recently started back to school last semester.
Ever since I can remember have always loved to read so I hope to do well in this class. O.K. I may just get by the skin of my teeth but I will enjoy every minute of it. That's really my only hobby, so to speak. I don't really have a whole lot of time but I do make time for a good book. I like suspense thriller books and any good A&E show.
As the person Teresa, my motto is to be better today than I was yesterday. This involves being open minded and accepting my own humanness. Realizing that I don't always have the answer or I cannot always fix the world. In the past it was "Give me a cause I will fight for it", but in my later years I have found only to fight for the things that really matter in life. Those worth fighting for today are my family and friends. Even those sometimes need to fight and learn their own battles. An old motto I had back in my very early twenties was the more people I can call friend in life when I die the better off I will be. Now in my early thirties I have found that as much as I would like to believe the good in people some just ain't got it in them, that is a sad reality. Another sad reality is that some just are not worth the effort. For the most part I try not to let the assholes that waste my oxygen steal my positive outlook on life.